Sunday, 19 December 2010 10:04

Three biscuits or a sandwish?

Written by  Steve Bone
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No, that is not a typo in the title! To somebody on dialysis for 4 hours 3 times a week, there are some important issues to address. Namely, a decent cup of tea (or two) and something to eat. Now I am not advocating a full blown menu here, and hugely extravagant culinary masterpieces. The debate comes down to why do we (in Peterborough) only get a ration of 3 biscuits for the dialysis session?

As you can see this is world changing stuff, and Twitter will ‘light up’ shortly on this issue when I tweet this in a few minutes time! It is the major debate, that, and a second cup of tea.

You see, some of us impossibly grumpy old patients travel, and so we get to see dialysis elsewhere, in private units and in other NHS units. Amazingly, everywhere else I have been (and others have been too), we have been treated to 2 cups of tea through the session, sandwiches, two helpings of toast, toasted sandwiches, decent cups of coffee and more. Nowhere has been stingey enough to just give you a pack of 3 biscuits.

Now I understand there are health and safety implications here. Apparently toasters are not allowed locally as nurses set fire to the buildings, sandwiches are out as they are not allowed to brandish sharp implements, tea (1 cup) now has to come in a specified holder in a paper cup as the use of a dishwasher will affect global warming (so no mugs), and the budget ultimately has to come from somewhere (apparently). 

So, consider me and all the other patients in Peterborough who will be excitedly looking forward to the small cup of plastic tea and three biscuit ration 3 times a week, but alas, no sandwiches ( I wish….)

Footnote: To add insult to injury, the old tea trolley with the wonky wheel has been replaced, so the exciting chink of mugs as the trolley makes its way towards you has now gone.  So, back to gazing at the ceiling…….

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Steve Bone

Steve Bone

Hi, I'm Steve and have been a dialysis patient on some form of self-care or other since 1990. I've dialysed at home, abroad, in hospital, oh and had a transplant for 7 years. I work in the insurance industry for a City based business, but am very fortunate to be able to work from home 4 days a week. I hope, with my experiences, I can help others on dialysis or those facing dialysis in the future! It ain't so bad! Steve

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